This little piggy went "Wee Wee Wee!" all the way to the podiatrist...

June 30, 2009
On June 17th I broke my toe off. Literally BROKE.IT.OFF. Thank goodness for skin and tendons or else I'd be carrying it in a plastic bag. Big bummer since I was to board a plane for DC in 3 days. A dozen x-rays later, I need to have a pin put in because the top half of my toe keeps sliding off the bottom half (i.e. won't set) and I was greatly encouraged by my podiatrist to have surgery within the week. I weighed my options:

1) cancel trip and get toe properly fixed, or

2) go on trip and have toe rebroken for surgery upon return.

Fitted with a Darth Vadar boot and crutches, I headed East on schedule. The 1st 2 nights hurt like a mutha but a week later? I put 8 miles on that lame toe today in NYC. I would post a picture of my floppy toe but since posting it on Facebook, I don't know if I can take any more toe jokes. Instead, here's pics of our trip thus far.

Jaden & Mikey in front of the capitol in Washington DC

Mikey at the Lincoln Monument

View from our hotel in Philadelphia Mikey at the Liberty Bell

Adrian & Rocky training on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum

Mikey & J walking with the Flongman kids on our way home from awesome Philly cheesesteaks

Mikey and J sitting on Balto in Central Park, NY

Mariah Carey filming a video in front of the Trump Plaza Mikey 'vogueing' in a Times Square store window (yes, stopped traffic)

Jaden waiting for daddy to figure out the subway ticketing system at Battery Park

Last but not least, a new Gucci and Prada for mama

True Love

June 15, 2009

Why is Miss Jaden Smiling?

June 13, 2009

Jaden at endocrinology office

Only 15% of children born with congential hypothyroidism ever make a full recovery. Miss Jaden just found out she's one of the lucky few. When we accepted Jaden's referral, we knew she'd be on thyroid medication for the rest of her life.

Guess we were wrong.

Summer is Officially Here

June 12, 1009

I am always ready to move, especially after I've been awoken umpteen times by a kicking boy and a whining girl. "We've gotta move to a one story house so theses guys can sleep in their own d$%& beds!"

But then summer rolls around and the concerts in The Village begin and I change my mind. For the first concert last night, we packed the kids in the BOB, stopped at the award winning vegetarian hole-in-the-wall cafe to get dinner then walked to the park for an evening of music, dancing and fraternizing.

The band played, couples danced, kids played and most everyone else lounged on blankets and lawn chairs drinking wine (except for me out of fear I'd morph into LuWanda the stripper or Bessie-Jane the pole dancer). The only party-poopers were the displaced chickens who aimlessly bob around the perimeter with indignant looks.

Guess we'll stay another season.

Appointments, Appointments, Appointments

June 10, 2009
We're having a busy week with Jaden. In addition to her regular schedule of appointments (physical therapy, occupational therapy & infant development), three others have been slated for this week: 6 month opthamology (eyes are 100%!), 3 month endocrinology and neurology. Whew, ready for an appointment vacation!

The neurology appointment: Jaden still has a diagnosis of 'tempermental'. Seems 'temperament' has nothing to do with her environment or her choices - it means she's reacting as she's wired to do, something she can't control due to her extreme pre-Beau circumstances (do you find this as funny as I do? pre-Beau circumstances) and her tender age. Sorry I have to leave you hanging about her p-B circumstances but if you feel you share this aspect, please leave a comment with your email address and I'll get back with you.

The doctor gave us 2 immediate options:
1) run her through a battery of tests and/or
2) put her on daily medication

In his opinion he feels the tests would be inconclusive because she's highly intelligent and sociable. As for drugs, they'd help but she'd be lethargic all the time.

He suspects that as she gets older, she'll develop a cognitive sense of right and wrong and be able to control herself better. If not, additional treatment will be necessary. In the meantime, she will visit him every 6 months (yay! another appointment!) and he feels the UCD Pediatric Psychiatry & Behavioral Clinic will be able to better help us in the short term.

Feeling a little let down, I chose to forgo both options for now. It's so difficult to make these decisions when she's having a good week. Kind of like grocery shopping after polishing off a 4 course meal. I guess I was hoping to walk away with a nose spray or something (a little sumpin'-sumpin' for mama - "Doctor! Look at me! I'm a sufferin' succotash!"). We'll continue to focus on the cause and wait for our appointment at UCD.

Public Service Announcement: that's real lipstick in the Barbie make-up kit.

What's my Schlumpy been up to? Finagling goodies out of mom & dad to soothe his distress over Jaden. (yeah, right)

From T-Wonst to sweeT-Wonst

June 8, 2009
Here we are having a "quiet" week with Jaden. She hasn't had a major tizzy since I last blogged which sends us, once again, searching for an explanation.

Maybe it's because Mike worked a lot of overtime last month and she missed him (he cut back this month).

Maybe it's because while on vacation, we made every effort to head off a meltdown by catering to her and upon returning home she expected it to continue. (Picture her laying across a chaise while Mike fans her and I feed her grapes.)

Maybe she was bored (we spent the weekend making their outside play area even more fantastic).

The most common diagnosis we've received thus far is that she's tempermental. True - she is, after all, 2 years old. If there's one thing we DO know, it's that every episode begins with her not getting her way. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Sometimes she's OK with not getting her way and other times she gets royally ticked off. But how far she'll go is hit and miss - at what point does she plug her nose and jump into the quagmire and why does it take violence to get herself back out? It goes way beyond being temperamental.

So far a few of the things we've tried:

1) holding - this exemplifies the problem to an undescribable degree

2) letting her bang it out in a safe area - no matter how soft and safe, she manages to bruise and draw blood

3) light but firm slam on the bed - worked at first but not much anymore (may have worked in the beginning because my thrill seeking daughter thought it was amusing)

4) signing - actually got us far but she has now outgrown it with her effective verbal communication skills

5) just give her what she wants when she wants it - believe me, it makes the problem worse over the short and long haul

6) give her an object to bang when she's upset - she bangs her head with the object

7) give it time, she's only been here 11 months - I fear if we don't do something, we'll be saying this when she's 16

So while we know what starts her downward spiral, we're not sure what pulls her down along the way. Until we find out we can only do our best to keep her safe from herself and to keep her from feeling shame in the aftermath.

And THANK YOU everyone for the encouragement, interest and support! We definitely feel better knowing we're not alone and that we haven't fully exhausted all our options.

Can't help but end this with something cute. I don't know where she learned it but almost every request is followed with, "Now." "Mommy. Juice pweez. Now." "Mommy. Outside pweez. Now." "Mommy. Up pweez. Now."
And for "now", that's exactly what we do. :-)

We're Off to see the Wizard ~

June 4, 2009
Someday I would like to publish my blog for my children - that's how I determine what's 'blogable' and what's not. At times I walk a fine line trying not to violate their privacy yet share what could be important information with other families whether they be parents of special needs children, preemies or adopted toddlers. Such is the case with this post.

Let me preface this by saying we spend a great deal of time observing our daughter. We're amazed at the obstacles she's overcome in her short life and we're so very proud of her. To call her special needs any more is just outright wrong. She's incredibly intelligent, funny and fiesty not to mention drop-dead gorgeous. We have no bonding issues with her, she's uber affectionate and has a healthy self esteem. That's 95% of who Jaden is and quite often we can be overheard thanking our good fortune because international adoption can be like a crap shoot.

The other 5%? That small part of her is actually quite overwhelming. The 5% Jaden is a dangerously tempermental toddler who suffers from 'meltdowns' like we've never witnessed. Up untill now I've avoided describing her meltdowns and have even tried to put a humorous spin on them. But truth be told, there's nothing funny about them. NOTHING. Jaden's 'meltdowns' include hitting, stomping and M.U.R.D.E.R.O.U.S. wildcat screaming. I KNOW - lots of 2 year old do this. What other 2 year old don't do is bang their faces to a bloody pulp, self-inflict knots and bruises on their foreheads or scratch and pull at their lips till blood is dripping. Mike described it best when he said it's like her gas pedal is stuck to the floor and she can't pry it up.

There are only two surefire ways to end an episode, 1) let her bang it out of herself (yes, this has been suggested by professionals), or 2) spend literally hours trying to bring her down. Both 'cures' are emotionally and physically draining on the entire family and after Natasha Richardson's tragic death, #1 is absolutely not an option (never really was).

These episodes are extremely disruptive to our family. Mikey is very sensitive to loud noises and her prolonged tantrums can send him cowering to his knees crying for her to stop. As for Mike and me, we feel helpless, substandard, frustrated and, eventually, numb. More often than not, we have to cancel or change plans because Jaden has a meltdown.

We truly don't believe it's simply the terrible two's. Something is wrong.

We've sought advice from our adoption agency, friends, follow-up social worker, occupational therapist, neurologist, pediatrician, physical therapist, teachers and infant development specialist. Each has given us solid advice, most of which make a small temporary improvement but nothing that has changed our overall situation.

So we've decided to take it to the next level and, against our usual resolve, would even be willing to try medication at this point. She's been squeezed in for another neurology visit next week where we'll ask for extensive testing and she's been accepted to the UCD Pediatric Psychiatry and Behavioral Science program where she'll undergo further evaluation.

Since making this decision, I've wondered if we've simply given up, taking the easy way out, maybe I shouldn't express our willingness to try pharmaceuticals...

Jaden had a fallout this morning. I sat my earily zen-calm daughter on the kitchen counter and asked her to look at me. When she finally made eye contact, I teared up. Her little face framed in sweaty sticky hair was swollen and exhausted and her beautiful dark eyes were dead. She kept dipping her head and peering at me from beneath her mile long lashes as though she were ashamed. At that moment it occurred to me that these episodes are as hard on her as they are on us and it broke my heart. There's no question in our minds about what we need to do. She can not go on like this and she needs our proactive support.

So as we gather helpful information, we'll be diligent about sharing.

I surely hope this doesn't scare away prospective adoptive parents. Like I said, this is only 5% of Jaden and it truly is her only snag. :-)